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the books i've been reading lately have been filling my head with new takes on old ideas. and its kinda fucking me up. the ideas themselves, their validity, not just for me- but for everything...

it seems like such a waste to not utilize thousands of years of human experience and thought, even if it does negate personal responsibility for failure... "it was a bad idea". idealism versus realism, everything is just value judgement- but whose values do we choose to subscribe to? can a person ever really choose their own? is it really so bad to committ to an idea because it is convenient? does that make it any less true if truth can only ever be subjective? what value then is placed on truth? on convenience? on sincerity?

this all feels too much like cost benefit analysis. but it can't be so sample as to say what feels true is true- what rings in your heart and your head, those little echoes of confirmation? if any idea is truly worth considering, you must be wiling to go there alone.

i want to believe that this is a valid option, a reasonable, respectable option. i don't want to believe it is simply a new way to compromise- i want to believe it is the refusal to compromise.

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