(no subject)
Oct. 7th, 2005 05:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
anomic_bluei am in a righteously bad mood.
this has been the longest night of a lifetime of long nights- exacerbated by the fact that i still have 3 fucking hours left!
nothing to do at work, forgot my cigarettes and bank card at home, nikki stopped by to tell me secrets.
dark, dark secrets i would rather weren't true, but which i know are.
and now i have to have serious thoughts, damn you serious thoughts!
its not myself i'm concerned for, but my conscience - if i fuck this up i know i'll feel regret for not fufilling my responsibilities to the collective. i could try to rouse the girls to life, but that would betray someone elses trust- and people so rarely fufill their promises. i suppose i can't just exricate (sp?) myself, i will have to prevent the continuation. fucking idiot, think you would have figured it out the first time.
heavy thoughts... i'm still so fucking sick. more importantly, i didn't want to have to deal with this, and i know that its within my rights "to not have to" as in i could recieve monetary compansation once this is all over, if i choose to, but i'd exchange it not happening for that. fuck, i guess its time to make a stand.
in other, less heavy but still weird news...
yesterdays call-ins had been gayified intended for what i can only assume was my notice (as only i and the gayifier access these forms), and i'm compelled to wonder if i should mimic it. but then, i think thats something crazy that Jesse would think. but then i think, maybe not. maybe not.
FUCK
this has been the longest night of a lifetime of long nights- exacerbated by the fact that i still have 3 fucking hours left!
nothing to do at work, forgot my cigarettes and bank card at home, nikki stopped by to tell me secrets.
dark, dark secrets i would rather weren't true, but which i know are.
and now i have to have serious thoughts, damn you serious thoughts!
its not myself i'm concerned for, but my conscience - if i fuck this up i know i'll feel regret for not fufilling my responsibilities to the collective. i could try to rouse the girls to life, but that would betray someone elses trust- and people so rarely fufill their promises. i suppose i can't just exricate (sp?) myself, i will have to prevent the continuation. fucking idiot, think you would have figured it out the first time.
heavy thoughts... i'm still so fucking sick. more importantly, i didn't want to have to deal with this, and i know that its within my rights "to not have to" as in i could recieve monetary compansation once this is all over, if i choose to, but i'd exchange it not happening for that. fuck, i guess its time to make a stand.
in other, less heavy but still weird news...
yesterdays call-ins had been gayified intended for what i can only assume was my notice (as only i and the gayifier access these forms), and i'm compelled to wonder if i should mimic it. but then, i think thats something crazy that Jesse would think. but then i think, maybe not. maybe not.
FUCK
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-07 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-07 10:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-07 12:28 pm (UTC)