(no subject)

[anomic_blue]

i wanted this...

it seems so strange, to remember the things i desired.

i wanted this... the discussion, the food, the wine, reading bits of original fiction. the words.

how did i get so completely off track? how did i end up here?

the truth, that i know how- if not why. why is almost incidental, isn't it?

but sitting here, smiling laughing talking, absorbing. i remember, how badly i wanted this. how sure i was i would have it. i wonder if it's still possible... if i can still achive this. if it's something, that i might have.

i realize, i want to try.

i passed this over, for something i thought more genuine, and my own words ring in my ears "no love spared that isn't for convenience first..."

i wonder, if i can fix all the things i have ruined. rebuild the bridges i have burned. find new opportunities.

how strange, to feel this old ache.

i am drunk, and i have a job interview tommorrow.

i want to fix things.

Comments

[tala82.livejournal.com]

i hope i'm not being presumptuous... but if i'm right about what it is you're referring to, you really aren't as far off as you seem to think you are. it isn't too late... i think you're brilliant and have no doubt that you can achieve what you want to, whenever you're ready.

[tala82.livejournal.com]

and one more thing... if you need any help trying/fixing/doing whatever... i'm here for you.